Home

Going home for just the weekend was a rollercoaster, it was so strange because although I was so happy to be home, I felt lost and like I wasn’t really at home. Seeing how much I was missed and how much I am missing out on, kills me. Watching my little sisters growing up without me being there to support them through everything and help them through struggles was hard. You can be informed of what is happening at home but until you actually go home, you don’t really know. However, it feels you with joy to know that you are finally with the ones that you love again and you are so happy to be spending time with them again. You feel like your complete and you know that your safe and comfortable again but in the back of your mind you know that you are going back in a few days.

When I lived at home, I didn’t really think that home was that important to me and I completely didn’t respect it and appreciate it in the way that I feel I do now. Coming home and being at university has made me realise how much my family mean to me, how much I do need them and how much they do for me. Living independently so many miles from home has and will always be so hard for me, I don’t really show it but I miss home. I miss the people, I miss the beach, I miss family meals, I even miss my dog. I knew I missed home when I was at university but it is only coming home that has made me realise how much I miss home. I guess that this means that I have more questions.


I have probably had one of the most memorable weekends that I have had in a long time because I have caught up with some friends, got to spend amazing time with my family and I got to be with my boyfriend. Catching up with my friends was almost like nothing had changed and we just updated each other with different parts of our lives and I loved that so much because it was like everything was normal and I didn’t feel like I was disconnected from their lives. Seeing my family was probably the most strange because they had changed, my sisters grow up each time I see them, their lives no longer the same and I am so proud of both of them. I have missed my mum more than I will ever let on but to see her, broke my heart in more ways than one because I could see how much she missed me and how much we need each other. I know that every moment I spend with my family now will be enjoyed and cherished. Spending time with my boyfriend was like ever other, special and like a dream, I just wish that it didn’t end but more memories were made.

Sometimes following your dreams has consequences but it will be worth it in the end! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bullying

Something that has always infuriated me is bullying as it is never something that anyone likes to go through but it is worse to watch. It is something that comes in many different forms and can't always be seen as it's described as 'banter' or 'only joking' or 'I'm playing with you'. All of which could impact someone more than you think, you don't know whether those words or actions are going to upset or hurt them. Sometimes its just a matter of choosing our words better but sometimes bullying can take place on a level that isn't appropriate and needs to be stopped. As someone that has both experienced bullying and watched people be bullied as well as the consequences of bullying, it is something that I'm very passionate about stopping as I feel that our community needs more love and friendship, than it does hate. Hate can only increase the negative aspects of life and could lead to more consequences such as self-harm which shouldn'
Read more

Tell yourself you look beautiful everyday

Something that I have previously spoken about but yet something so important to me is my weight and body confidence. This is something that is constantly bringing me down on a day to day basis. Since coming to university I guess that it has been triggered even more because I am surrounded by people that I would see as looking attractive and having bodies that make me very jealous. This I would say has not helped my body confidence at all as well as the university standard of living not helping my case. It is not something that I love to talk about with anyone because of how low it makes me feel but I guess I am sharing it with you. This is not because I want to make others feel bad about themselves, but to help others know that they are not the only ones going through this.  During my time back at home during Easter, I found that I was extremely low with my body confidence and just wanted to be in slouchy clothes. I was just so unhappy with my body that I didn't want it on show a
Read more

Battles

Everyone in life will face a number of battles that will make them as a person, these will make everything feel like they are going through a hurricane and that there is no end to the pain. Some battles end in tragedy but some battles end with hope for the future. My battle has been one that I have had to face for 9 years now and it one that usually excels me but today it resulted in a panic attack when I came face to face with my abuser. My everyday life consists of me going to college and enjoying every moment because I have my friends and a close family. I like to leave the past in the past and therefore do not have a relationship with my abuser out of fear and lack of trust that the incidents won’t happen again. I guess for you to understand I need to explain what happen and how it impacted my life. When I was younger, me and my two sisters lived with my parents but one day I was told that they were separating which made my world fall apart, I got used to it though. Everyo
Read more